moragmacpherson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
moragmacpherson) wrote2010-07-10 02:40 pm
moragmacpherson) wrote2010-07-10 02:40 pm
The Day After Being Sick
So I'm in the middle of the day after being sick - which is quite a bit different than the day after being hung over. Last night I woke up at 9:30 (because drowsing eighteen hours out of the day for four days plays all sorts of hell with your internal clock), managed to survive the three minutes that it takes to microwave chicken noodle soup, and then inhaled it for all that it was worth. I drank some water and then conked out for another twelve hours of blessedly dreamless sleep (my fever dreams are seriously messed up).
This morning I popped open my computer to see what's been going on while I've been busy counting the tulips on the wallpaper in my parent's bathroom (they seriously need some more entertaining wallpaper). It appears that I emailed some people - I'm sorry if those emails were curt/rude/nonsensical, I honestly don't remember sending most of them. I appear to be watching several threads on spnpermanon, and apparently I've been posting there - hope to hell I'm not a troll, but all things are possible. Also, I apparently lost my mind and commented while logged in on an RPS story, finally letting the cat out of the bag on the last of my secret guilty pleasures. I feel much freer now, but I've always had a thing for shamelessness. And looking back on the story I commented on, at least it was a good one.
And then I notice that holy mother of hell, OpenOffice is closed. Understand: OpenOffice is never closed on my computer. It's more likely for Firefox to be closed, and that happens... well, I understand that Internet Addiction is either in the DSM IV or will be in the DSM V and next to that definition will be a picture of me. So, yeah, OpenOffice is closed, and so it was with great trepidation that I opened it back up and checked my recent documents.
Next chapter of AGAHTL? Gone. My outline for my Master's Report project that I hate but know I can do and get the hell out of grad school? Gone. Fifteen pages of BigBang beta? Gone (but not gone as far back as it should be, curious, there are notes on it marked yesterday, which means I actually noticed this yesterday but was too sick to care about my own stuff, but feeling guilty about being a bad-Beta, cause that's how I roll). TEN THOUSAND WORDS OF MY CASTIEL/JACK HARKNESS PLOT BUNNY? GONE. And that may be the mofo that kills me, because I love that damn story so much and I'm finally writing a slash story I believe in and I was so bloody close to finally sending it to beta but now I'm back to a bare opening scene, and I might just cry here and now.
Instead I read a schmoopy as hell curtain-fic and took three hours to eat a sandwich. Sigh. Anyway - getting the flu in the middle of the summer sucks, I miss you all.
This morning I popped open my computer to see what's been going on while I've been busy counting the tulips on the wallpaper in my parent's bathroom (they seriously need some more entertaining wallpaper). It appears that I emailed some people - I'm sorry if those emails were curt/rude/nonsensical, I honestly don't remember sending most of them. I appear to be watching several threads on spnpermanon, and apparently I've been posting there - hope to hell I'm not a troll, but all things are possible. Also, I apparently lost my mind and commented while logged in on an RPS story, finally letting the cat out of the bag on the last of my secret guilty pleasures. I feel much freer now, but I've always had a thing for shamelessness. And looking back on the story I commented on, at least it was a good one.
And then I notice that holy mother of hell, OpenOffice is closed. Understand: OpenOffice is never closed on my computer. It's more likely for Firefox to be closed, and that happens... well, I understand that Internet Addiction is either in the DSM IV or will be in the DSM V and next to that definition will be a picture of me. So, yeah, OpenOffice is closed, and so it was with great trepidation that I opened it back up and checked my recent documents.
Next chapter of AGAHTL? Gone. My outline for my Master's Report project that I hate but know I can do and get the hell out of grad school? Gone. Fifteen pages of BigBang beta? Gone (but not gone as far back as it should be, curious, there are notes on it marked yesterday, which means I actually noticed this yesterday but was too sick to care about my own stuff, but feeling guilty about being a bad-Beta, cause that's how I roll). TEN THOUSAND WORDS OF MY CASTIEL/JACK HARKNESS PLOT BUNNY? GONE. And that may be the mofo that kills me, because I love that damn story so much and I'm finally writing a slash story I believe in and I was so bloody close to finally sending it to beta but now I'm back to a bare opening scene, and I might just cry here and now.
Instead I read a schmoopy as hell curtain-fic and took three hours to eat a sandwich. Sigh. Anyway - getting the flu in the middle of the summer sucks, I miss you all.
no subject
Don't worry about me, and you did send me a draft yesterday, or late wee early morning Friday. So I have the beginning of John/boys at Missouri's place.
In future, possibly consider - Beside saving it on a flash drive, send yourself drafts via email google or yahoo so you can access 'em on any computer. Same thing with LJ, post it locked for your use only.
To recapture what you wrote-- first don't despair, go sit in a quiet place and think about the fic, the characters- then start writing drafting it out. Focus on what you want to say, the story you're trying to tell rather then what you had! Try not to compare, and tell yourself until you believe it or you're blue in the face that it'll be better than what you initially wrote- because it will!!!
& more {{Hugs}} just because :)
no subject