moragmacpherson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
moragmacpherson) wrote2009-01-23 10:45 am
moragmacpherson) wrote2009-01-23 10:45 am
Fic: Hellmouth High Schools Don't Have Reunions (3/20)
Title: Hellmouth High Schools Don't Have Reunions (3/20)
Author: MoragMacPherson
Rating: PG to PG-13
Timeline: School Reunion for DW. Between Homecoming and Band Candy for BtVS
Disclaimer: If it's a character or a place, I don't own it.
Archive: Here, TtH, Teaspoon, the pit, I think. If you'd like it, let me know.
Author's Note: Response to challenge 3108 by Winterd at Twisting the Hellmouth. Un-beta'd. Oooh, and it also got recced on Calufrax, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Summary: What if "School Reunion" took place at Sunnydale High?
Went to School and I was Very Nervous
Willow eyed the teacher, poking her palm with the point of her pencil. No bad thoughts, no bad thoughts, don’t want to be eaten by the math demon. But she found herself smiling dreamily at him while he interrogated Harmony about string theory. Definite mind control powers. Down girl!
“And, Willow, if you were going to open a trans-dimensional gateway, how would you go about it?”
“Well, I could use a superconductor to provide an electrical charge and cause a quark cascade, or I could just use a Pharamond crystal and some sage.” Whoops! Did that come out? Evil mind control math mojo!
The teacher, Mr. Smith, rocked back on his heels. “Excuse me, what did you say?”
“Nothing. Superconductors! Quarks! Nice quarks, I like bottoms.” Her blush deepened as the class laughed. “And tops.” Another roar of laughter. “Strange and charm are nice too,” she muttered.
Mr. Smith’s eyes bugged out a bit. “Yes, yes they are. Miss Rosenberg was it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“After class please.” At the oohs and hoots he glared at the class over his glasses. “None of that. Now I want you all for a very special assignment tonight to look up the Poincarre conjecture. Any of you solve it, no more homework for the rest of the year.” The bell rang. “Thank you very much, get out!” The class emptied out of the room, with many meaningful glances at Willow, who attempted to melt into her chair before remembering the invisible girl and just wallowing in misery.
Mr. Smith removed his glasses and sat on his desk, legs swinging back and forth. “‘A Pharamond crystal and sage,’ you said?”
“Something like that.” Willow deliberately began packing her bag. “I have class after this.”
“Which one?”
“Calculus.”
“Oooh, bad idea. Better just stick with me.” He pushed off the desk and locked the door to the classroom, closing the blinds.
“You’re not going to eat me, are you, c-cause I’m not, I’m a bad, I um, my cholesterol is high and it’ll clog your veins too and my hair’s just gonna get caught in your teeth.” Willow held her bag in front of her bodied and let out a soft, “Eep.”
Mr. Smith’s eyes widened and Willow justified to herself that if she had to be eaten by a teacher, at least she was being eaten with this one. “Why would you think I was going to eat you?”
“That’s kind of what evil demon teachers do.”
He coughed. “Get many evil demon teachers around here, do you?”
“Well, Hellmouth, it happens. I just can’t believe I’m gonna get eaten before Xander. Always thought it was going to be Xander.”
He leaned against a shelf. “I’d leave that bet on the table. I’m not a demon, and I’m not going to eat you.”
Oh, this is almost worse than getting eaten. “You’re not a demon? Because I was sort of making all of that Hellmouth stuff up then. I’m not crazy. I have a little trouble making my mouth not say all the words that come into my brain, but that’s not crazy, it’s endearing to some people and wow, um, I should go.”
Mr. Smith shook his head and crossed his arms. “No, no, hold up. Demons, Hellmouth, all sorts of strange energy, that actually makes sense.”
“Does it? Good. Still not crazy. Are you?”
“Maybe a little.” He cocked his head at her and clucked his tongue. “But you act like those things are normal, and yet you still think something suspicious is going on. What have you noticed?”
“Well, no offense, but Harmony’s an air head. She thinks Stephen Hawking was in the last Adam Sandler movie. And she’s not the only one. My friends, I normally have to help them, y’know, just keep their heads above water, and all of a sudden they’re working on P versus NP, and there’s all these new teachers and Giles is acting all funny.” Willow finally stopped herself. “And you get all talking in your pretty English accent and your amazing physics knowledge and you smile at me and get me off my guard and-and w-who are you and w-what have you noticed?”
“Just a concerned party. You can call me the Doctor. I can tell you, you’re right, there’s something very strange going on here. And I have a sneaking suspicion that very strange around here is strange enough to give me some serious concern.”
“And-and how do I know you’re telling the truth about not being a demon, Mister, um, Doctor man?”
He smiled at her. “I dunno. I didn’t try to eat you, but that’s hardly proof of anything. How do you know?”
Willow froze, then went through her pack. “Hold on one second, I’ve done this before.” She found the little pentacle and dangled it towards him. “Goddess Hecate, this figure before me today, let his false form fall away.” The charm stirred in sudden wind, and to Willow’s surprise, Hecate herself appeared before her, raven-haired and resplendent in a flowing white gown. The goddess ignored Willow initially, walking around the Doctor, who accepted this turn of events with only a slightly loose jaw.
“Well that’s just cheating.” Hecate humphed, folded her hands and spun to face Willow. “I’d love to do it, dear, but the man just happens to have a whole bunch of true forms. This one is as good as any.”
Willow collected herself and curtsied. “Well, thank you for trying, Goddess.”
“It was my pleasure.” She winked at the Doctor and began to disappear.
“Oh wait, sorry could you tell me if he’s a demon or not?”
“No, he’s not a demon. Not human either. You’re on your own with this one, I’ve got no jurisdiction. Keep up the practice, little witch.” And with a last echoing laugh, she was gone.
“Sorry, she doesn’t normally appear when I invoke her.”
The Doctor's jaw snapped shut. “I see.”
“I’m gonna faint now.”
“Oh, don’t do that.” He still moved towards her, which was a good thing.
“Too late.” Willow fell into his arms and the blackness within.
Next
Author: MoragMacPherson
Rating: PG to PG-13
Timeline: School Reunion for DW. Between Homecoming and Band Candy for BtVS
Disclaimer: If it's a character or a place, I don't own it.
Archive: Here, TtH, Teaspoon, the pit, I think. If you'd like it, let me know.
Author's Note: Response to challenge 3108 by Winterd at Twisting the Hellmouth. Un-beta'd. Oooh, and it also got recced on Calufrax, which made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Summary: What if "School Reunion" took place at Sunnydale High?
Went to School and I was Very Nervous
Willow eyed the teacher, poking her palm with the point of her pencil. No bad thoughts, no bad thoughts, don’t want to be eaten by the math demon. But she found herself smiling dreamily at him while he interrogated Harmony about string theory. Definite mind control powers. Down girl!
“And, Willow, if you were going to open a trans-dimensional gateway, how would you go about it?”
“Well, I could use a superconductor to provide an electrical charge and cause a quark cascade, or I could just use a Pharamond crystal and some sage.” Whoops! Did that come out? Evil mind control math mojo!
The teacher, Mr. Smith, rocked back on his heels. “Excuse me, what did you say?”
“Nothing. Superconductors! Quarks! Nice quarks, I like bottoms.” Her blush deepened as the class laughed. “And tops.” Another roar of laughter. “Strange and charm are nice too,” she muttered.
Mr. Smith’s eyes bugged out a bit. “Yes, yes they are. Miss Rosenberg was it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“After class please.” At the oohs and hoots he glared at the class over his glasses. “None of that. Now I want you all for a very special assignment tonight to look up the Poincarre conjecture. Any of you solve it, no more homework for the rest of the year.” The bell rang. “Thank you very much, get out!” The class emptied out of the room, with many meaningful glances at Willow, who attempted to melt into her chair before remembering the invisible girl and just wallowing in misery.
Mr. Smith removed his glasses and sat on his desk, legs swinging back and forth. “‘A Pharamond crystal and sage,’ you said?”
“Something like that.” Willow deliberately began packing her bag. “I have class after this.”
“Which one?”
“Calculus.”
“Oooh, bad idea. Better just stick with me.” He pushed off the desk and locked the door to the classroom, closing the blinds.
“You’re not going to eat me, are you, c-cause I’m not, I’m a bad, I um, my cholesterol is high and it’ll clog your veins too and my hair’s just gonna get caught in your teeth.” Willow held her bag in front of her bodied and let out a soft, “Eep.”
Mr. Smith’s eyes widened and Willow justified to herself that if she had to be eaten by a teacher, at least she was being eaten with this one. “Why would you think I was going to eat you?”
“That’s kind of what evil demon teachers do.”
He coughed. “Get many evil demon teachers around here, do you?”
“Well, Hellmouth, it happens. I just can’t believe I’m gonna get eaten before Xander. Always thought it was going to be Xander.”
He leaned against a shelf. “I’d leave that bet on the table. I’m not a demon, and I’m not going to eat you.”
Oh, this is almost worse than getting eaten. “You’re not a demon? Because I was sort of making all of that Hellmouth stuff up then. I’m not crazy. I have a little trouble making my mouth not say all the words that come into my brain, but that’s not crazy, it’s endearing to some people and wow, um, I should go.”
Mr. Smith shook his head and crossed his arms. “No, no, hold up. Demons, Hellmouth, all sorts of strange energy, that actually makes sense.”
“Does it? Good. Still not crazy. Are you?”
“Maybe a little.” He cocked his head at her and clucked his tongue. “But you act like those things are normal, and yet you still think something suspicious is going on. What have you noticed?”
“Well, no offense, but Harmony’s an air head. She thinks Stephen Hawking was in the last Adam Sandler movie. And she’s not the only one. My friends, I normally have to help them, y’know, just keep their heads above water, and all of a sudden they’re working on P versus NP, and there’s all these new teachers and Giles is acting all funny.” Willow finally stopped herself. “And you get all talking in your pretty English accent and your amazing physics knowledge and you smile at me and get me off my guard and-and w-who are you and w-what have you noticed?”
“Just a concerned party. You can call me the Doctor. I can tell you, you’re right, there’s something very strange going on here. And I have a sneaking suspicion that very strange around here is strange enough to give me some serious concern.”
“And-and how do I know you’re telling the truth about not being a demon, Mister, um, Doctor man?”
He smiled at her. “I dunno. I didn’t try to eat you, but that’s hardly proof of anything. How do you know?”
Willow froze, then went through her pack. “Hold on one second, I’ve done this before.” She found the little pentacle and dangled it towards him. “Goddess Hecate, this figure before me today, let his false form fall away.” The charm stirred in sudden wind, and to Willow’s surprise, Hecate herself appeared before her, raven-haired and resplendent in a flowing white gown. The goddess ignored Willow initially, walking around the Doctor, who accepted this turn of events with only a slightly loose jaw.
“Well that’s just cheating.” Hecate humphed, folded her hands and spun to face Willow. “I’d love to do it, dear, but the man just happens to have a whole bunch of true forms. This one is as good as any.”
Willow collected herself and curtsied. “Well, thank you for trying, Goddess.”
“It was my pleasure.” She winked at the Doctor and began to disappear.
“Oh wait, sorry could you tell me if he’s a demon or not?”
“No, he’s not a demon. Not human either. You’re on your own with this one, I’ve got no jurisdiction. Keep up the practice, little witch.” And with a last echoing laugh, she was gone.
“Sorry, she doesn’t normally appear when I invoke her.”
The Doctor's jaw snapped shut. “I see.”
“I’m gonna faint now.”
“Oh, don’t do that.” He still moved towards her, which was a good thing.
“Too late.” Willow fell into his arms and the blackness within.
Next